


Fixing the hurt crow

by annmariec2002



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 12:23:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18894565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annmariec2002/pseuds/annmariec2002
Summary: This is set before and after 8x03 of game of thrones. Jon noticed Tormund's interest in Brienne and gets jealous after being in a relationship for so long it wasn't expected. From there things escalate.





	Fixing the hurt crow

**Author's Note:**

> The ending to this is a little rushed. I lost inspiration and motivation for it so I tried to finish it as best as I could

Jon and Tormund had been together since Jon came to the north to get the free folk to safety. It had been so long that Jon was shocked when he saw Tormund inquiring over Brienne and her relationship status. Jon over looked him as Tormund got jealous over Jamie for having her eye. Jon was confused he had thought Tormund loved him. Jon was always nervous about their relationship. His lack of experience, insecurities and self esteem issues became a problem especially when Jon realised he loved Tormund. When Jon had confronted Tormund about it, the best moment of his life was when Tormund said he loved him back. Jon now looks over at Tormund making heart eyes at Brienne. It made him sick, Brienne was an amazing woman but Tormund had told him multiple times that Jon was his. His chest hurt, something settled in his stomach, dread that he would keep him up at night.

Jon sat in the dinning hall with Tormund and a few others from the nights watch. Once again he was talking about Brienne, Jon's stomach was in knots as he listened. Tormund had been distant since coming back to winterfell, at first he didn't think anything from it but now he can see that perhaps Tormund had gotten tired of him, he now could have something better so why would he waste time with him. His heart ached at the thought of losing Tormund, after so long the man had quickly became a permanent fixture that he couldn't lose. Jon couldn't lose his strength, he couldn't lose the man who always had his back. He didn't know how too. Jon knew that confronting Tormund was the best way to get his answer, he was to nervous to do so, afraid of his answer. That night he curled up alone once again, the taste of his salty tears in his mouth as he openly sobbed over the man he thought loved him.

.....

It wasn't until a few days later that Jon got his answer. He wasn't sleeping, too nervous to be able to fall into a comforting slumber. The agitation of his lack of sleep finally made him snap. Tormund was flirting with Brienne, heart eyes jumping out of his skull, smile so big it hurt his face. Jon stomped up to him, roughly grabbed his hand in a tight almost painful grip and dragged him away from her, to a quiet place where it was clear for them to talk.  
"I know we haven't had time to be together lately but why are you flirting and trying to get with Brienne," Jon was seething, his anger finally bubbling over.  
"Crow, why the fuck would I want you when I can have her." Jon sucked in a breath, his eyes dropped from Tormunds and he stepped back, trying his best to put distance between them so he wouldn't feel so vulnerable. He hadn't heard this much aggression directed towards him from Tormund for years. His posture drew in on himself, trying to make himself as small as possible in a submissive gesture. Jon was dizzy, after everything Tormund didn't want him anymore, it had made sense. Who would want a small, broken, excuse of a man instead of a strong, tall, amazing, beautiful, warrior of a woman. He couldn't bare to be in Tormund's presence any longer so he turned and quickly walked away wanting as much distance between them as possible. Jon was disgusted and ashamed of himself, he should've tried to be better for Tormund.

After getting out of sight of Tormund, Jon's pace picked up as he ran to his room, desperate to be away from everything. His hands shook as he roughly tired to open the door to his room, he finally got it open slammed it behind him. Jon ran the rest of the way to his bed in the corner of the room and sat down. He tried to keep the tears at bay, unsuccessfully so Jon was soon heaving in large breaths trying to calm himself down. His loud sobs echoed through the small room as his heart broke in two. 

.....

Jon felt like he was crying forever when he heard a knock at his door. Quickly scrubbing his face off of his tears he answered.  
"Come in" he didn't except Arya to step through the door once opened, but she stood in front of him now. Jon quickly averted his eyes knowing she would put two and two together if she saw his face.

However Arya knew Jon like she knew her favourite book. One look at his posture sent alarm bells off in her head. His posture was slouched over, small something he did as a boy when her mother got angry at him, for Jon it worked to minimize the damage whether it be physical or emotional being small helped Jon cope with whatever was happening. It broke her heart to see that from Jon again she knew he had a lot on his plate but something else had hurt him badly for Arya to find him crying in his room. She spoke quietly as not to scare him even more.

"Jon, are you okay? Why are you crying?" If it were even possible Jon seemed to get closer in on himself before speaking.  
"I'm fine Arya, what do you need from me?" Arya considered what Jon was doing for a minute, the dismissal of his issues upset her. When they were little they always talked about whatever was happening.  
"I need you to tell me what's wrong Jon, you can trust me, whatever you say won't be shared." Jon took a breath and shook his head, telling anyone would only cause trouble for himself, however when he looked in Arya's eyes he felt completely safe in telling her.  
"I was in a relationship and now they've found someone better," Jon's eyes filled with tears once more.  
"Jon why would anyone give you up for someone else, you're amazing," his tear filled eyes spilt over and he shook his head.  
"Not as amazing as Brienne" Jon didn't realise he just revealed who he was with to Arya. There was only one person outside of Jamie who Jon hasn't know for long that was trying to get with Brienne.

Arya swallowed against a dry throat, she didn't know Tormund well but she never took him as that kind of man. A man that would throw away a brilliant soul like Jon because he found Brienne someone who was better. It made Arya sick, her stomach rolling for her brother who Tormund just shattered.  
"Oh Jon, I'm so sorry" Arya didn't know what to do she had never witnessed her brother hurt like this.  
"I'll be fine Arya I just need sometime to think." Arya looked at Jon before nodding. She then slowly walked out of the room, she had someone to talk to anyway.

.....

Arya made her way to the free folk camp quickly. She asked the first person she saw where Tormund was, after finding out his location within the camp she stalked over to him. Tormund was a big intimidating man, when Arya approached him he looked down to her clearly trying to use height to his advantage.  
"What do you what Crow," Arya had seen her fair share of big men, the intimidation tactic was definitely not working on her.  
"I want to know why you've hurt my brother Tormund." Arya commanded. Tormund frowned clearly not expecting the bluntness.  
"Well young crow sometimes when people are involved, one party is way to much emotional work for the other and then the other gets tired so they break up." Arya was disgusted, Jon had his issues she was aware. However he deserved to be supported and loved not to be thrown away.  
" I'm glad you've broken up with him. Jon deserves so much more than someone like you. Jon has neglected his own needs and emotional wellbeing for so long. He has lead and taken care of people even when he didn't want to. He was the only one to step up and bring your free folk behind the wall where you were safe. My brother is a brilliant man who doesn't need someone like you bringing him down."

Tormund looked at the floor suddenly ashamed of himself, he knew what Jon had been through, hell he had a first hand seat but he never thought that it was the reason Jon was so insecure and scared. When Tormund had returned he couldn't be bothered reassuring Jon that he was safe and everyone was fine.

That's when it hit him. Jon was still putting him and others first. When Tormund got back Jon never wanted Tormund to help him in anyway, despite desperately needing a moment for himself. Tormund had just hurt such a loving, selfless man because he didn't want to deal with said mans worries. Tormund didn't have many regrets but this was one of them. How could he even think for a moment that being with someone new would be better, then the person who has been with and loved him for so many years.

Tormund looked up at Arya once more, considering the young woman for a moment before deciding she was the best person for advice.  
"How can I get him back" he was speaking quietly. Arya considered him for a moment, she could see his regret and she wanted to help him but she truly didn't know how. Arya had never seen her brother this broken before especially not over a relationship. Before everything Jon saw himself unworthy because he was a bastard, now he sees himself unworthy because of his failures, Tormund breaking up with him basically confirmed his insecurities.  
"I can't help you Tormund, you have hurt Jon so harshly I'm not sure there is any getting him back."  
"Come on, I'm sure I can find a way I'm sure I can do something." Tormund's voice rose as he got angry once more.  
"Tormund, you've hurt Jon worse then you think you have. You've completely torn him apart, you confirmed his deepest fear. How do you expect him to recover from that." Arya met his tone with her own protective aggression.  
"I've really fucked up here haven't I,"  
"It's clear Jon loves you Tormund, perhaps just tell him what had happened. Jon is hurt right now but he is still the beautiful forgiving man that you know, but he might need some time to forgive. He is a beautiful man but he is no saint so let him heal in the way he needs not your own." Tormund nodded at Arya before she began her ascension into the castle.

.....

Jon laid on his bed, eyes closed breathing deeply, pretending to be asleep but never actually sleeping. Someone knocks on his door just as he starts to drift off. Usually Tormund would help him sleep, the man that used to lay beside him, a comfort through the night. Jon didn't plan on answering the door until a voice comes through the door.  
"Jon, I know you're in there Arya came and talked to me. I want you to know that I'm really sorry, I know I've hurt you really bad. When I broke up with you I didn't realise what I was doing. I was tired after everything and I didn't know how to be there for you so I thought the best way to get away from you was to distance myself and try for someone else thinking you would get the hint. I now see that it was the greatest mistake I've ever done in my life. Truth is you are amazing, so selfless and caring and I was lucky enough to even have you to begin with and knowing that I've hurt you is the worst thing in the world." Tormund finishes speaking but stayed outside the door allowing Jon time to think.

Jon was lost, he loved Tormund with everything in himself but he had him so deeply. He knew that forgiving Tormund was help him but he didn't know if he could just yet. Jon got up from his bed and opened the door in spite of himself. Now he stands face to face with the man who broke his heart less than 24 hours ago. Jon did admit that Tormund looked heartbroken himself.  
"Thank you for opening the door for me, I know it must've been hard especially after everything." Jon didn't know what to say so he went with his gut.  
"I love you so much, but right now after everything I am going to need some time to forgive you." Tormund smiled sadly at Jon after being told the news, he understood of course he did and he was willing to wait for his little crow.  
"Alright Jon of course I'll give you space, I just wish that you'd be my little crow again" Jon sighed sadly at Tormund before the Gaint born walked away from him. Leaving Jon was again alone.

.....

It was only after the war with the white walkers passed and the fear of losing Tormund that he realised he needed the man back in his life. Jon found his way to the free folk camp and to Tormund's tent, his body on auto pilot. It wasn't until he was standing in front of the man that had hurt him that he started sharing his true feelings.  
" Thank you for giving me the space that I needed. It shows that you care about me even after I rejected you. I said it a few days ago and I'll say it again now. I love you Tormund and I would really love it if you would have me back." Tormund's face lit up in a beautiful and that was the best thing Jon had seen in his many years of life.  
"My little crow you never rejected me, you just needed sometime and I was happy to give it to you." Tormund raised his hand up to Jon's face caressing his face before leaning down and kissing Jon passionately. When they broke for air Jon smiled brilliantly at Tormund,  
"I know this isn't the best thing to say right now but can you take me to bed, I've had a really hard time sleeping." Tormund smiled at Jon and laughed, he grabbed his thighs, hoisted him up and walked over to his bed in the corner of the tent putting Jon down and laying down beside him.  
"Of course my little crow, let's sleep."


End file.
